therapy

Therapy is much maligned in our culture.  It is misunderstood.  It is thought of as treatment for the insane and the weak.  But for me, therapy has been an extremely positive force.  It has made me stronger.  It has helped me manage challenging anxiety, depression and panic attacks.  Therapy has played a major role in making me a happier person, a person now capable of sustaining a relationship with a woman I love, the kind of relationship I always hoped I could have.  Therapy has made me a better basketball player.  It has allowed me to be more creative.  It has helped me become more empathetic, less concerned with the fallibility of others.  I can love more openly, more fully because of therapy.  I still have a long way to go to be the person I truly want to be, but therapy has helped me move a long way towards that place.

I've been in therapy for 14 years.  I've worked with four different therapists over that time.  Today, I see two therapists, each one once a week.  Therapy has given me the opportunity to be open and honest with myself.  I've been fortunate to work with wonderful therapists. I am grateful for their guidance, insight, honesty and support.

Many people believe they could probably benefit from therapy, but they are scared or unsure or outright opposed to the idea.  People often fear finding and working with a bad therapist, a quack.  To this I say, trust your gut.  Make several phone calls.  Talk to the therapists on the phone.  If you feel like a person is weird or just wouldn't be a good fit, don't make an appointment.  If you feel an immediate bond or connection, even if you can't explain why, go with it.  If you make an appointment and then don't feel comfortable, don't go back.  It's amazing how much control you have over therapy.  You chose your therapist, every week.  You never have to sign a contract, you never have to commit to more than one session.  If the person sucks, just walk away.

Therapy can be expensive.  It is often thought of as a treatment for the wealthy and well-to-do.  And there is definitely some truth in this.  For some, therapy is thought of as luxury they simply can't afford.  But there are many clinics and therapists that offer services on a sliding scale, and some organizations that offer therapy for lower-income clients, sometimes free.  If you feel like you could benefit from therapy, see what's out there, see what's available.  If you are fortunate enough to have health insurance, your plan may cover some percentage of the cost of therapy.  I don't want to gloss over the economics of therapy.  It can suck.  And many established therapists these days do not accept patients with health insurance.  The system is fucked up in many ways.  But there are still solutions.

Many people believe that therapy is only for white people.  But there are so many diverse therapists working today, especially in the Bay Area.  I believe the face of therapy is changing.  Communities of color now have opportunities to work with therapists who look like them.  I don't believe therapy is only for white people.  It is a fact that historically therapy and psychiatry have been dominated by whites, but that is changing.  There is still a long way to go.  But if you are Latino, Asian or Black or you identify in some way outside the white mainstream and you are interested in therapy, there may be a therapist out there for you.  I, of course, don't know. But again, trust your gut.  If it doesn't feel right, don't do it.

People are often times afraid of what's inside them.  Therapy can help you find out what's inside you, what it is you really want, how to set goals, how to go about achieving them.  Therapy can help you build courage to face what's inside you and what's in front of you.  Therapy can be amazingly helpful in getting you out of a rut.  I feel like this may be the best reason to start therapy.  Start with one thing that you are stuck with.  It could be a relationship or work or anything.  It can be helpful to start with this one thing.  Use it as a jumping off point, and see what happens.

By no means is therapy the only answer.  For me, therapy is one part of the effort to feel better.  For me, it is a big part.  But for you, it may not make sense.  It may not fit with your world view and what you believe in, and that's totally cool.  But if you are wondering, questioning, therapy might be a resource for you.  It has been a wonderful resource for me.

with love,
Anthony

November Rain