First Guest Post: Saba Moeel!

Saba Moeel is the glittery literary buckshot that just left the cannon and adjusted your world view.  She is also the younger sister of one of my close friends and favorite people, Shaffy "Shafierson" Moeel.  Absolutely love the Moeel's.  Saba works as a (brilliant) designer during the day, but here I want to highlight her writing.  She has more pure writing talent than anyone I'm reading today.  Her writing is hot, bizarre, shape-shifting, mystical, Ayn Rand confident, and honest.  She grew up in El Cerrito and now lives in Brooklyn.

Guest Blog:

Day 95

Oh so let me guess u got a pot belly but still wear a mid riff revealing shirt no problem? WELL SO DO I so you cannot judge another person.

Oh so you drink chlorophyll and kombucha like there's no tomorrow for your 'health' but then again you eat something sweet everyday? WELL I GUESS I CANNOT CAST ANY STONES YOUR WAY

So..you have a long list of advice for every person in your life except for yourself? Join the club on this!

The last time you went to the club, did you have the time of your life and plus the owner had a crush on you so you got into the secret downstairs part WITH your whole crew INCLUDING all 7 of dudes, but then it was the worst night because at 4am you lost your key and had to call a locksmith, he ripped you off but you were so enraged and just done that u paid it and ended up paying 700 dollars that night, all in al? Wow me too thats weird

Did you, offer a Ganesh puja which means you cracked a coconut in a fiery camphor burning ritual in your Bushwick apartment, only to auspicously have your BRAND NEW ganesh necklace snap off your neck as you were dutifully taking out the trash like an adult, only to have some flukey student loan fiasco happen where u thought u had to pay 3 g's by next week, then out of creepy morbid, morbid curiosity u asked your shady pimp acquaintance how much his ho's get paid and this motherfucker said $25,000 A MONTH. Then he gently solicited you to join his prostitution ring, then you didn't respond? And this was all on text. Then you thought, let me delete this fools number then you were like, but NO I need to know the number so I accidently don't evr pick up, like EVER cuz this fool is so shady thank god I found it out before I worked with his producer friend. But did you then get so enraged at everyone trying to use you, which is hella imaginary anyway, that you texted the dude your dating demanding what the status was on ur relationship after a year of being too terrified to even call him on the phone? Then after he gave u the thumbs up, after first taking the opportunity to torture and tease you and pretend to be a 'handcuffed bachelor', which you loved because it was all very fake and annoying and much like a wayans movie, did the student loan situation dissapear 2 minutes later cuz your mom called and reminded you gently that your dad was helping you settle it with an agency and u just forgot, and then all the main things that were bugging you for the past year were instantly solved and you realized GANESH works in mysterious, angry, aggressive ways, but ALWAYS INSTANTLY IF YOU make a prayer to a coconut, crack that shit w a hammer on the ledge, PLUS 'accidently' break your spiritually energized piece of jewelry even tho the damn thing was brand fucking new!!! it served its purpose and you couldnt even repair it cuz you LOST THE DAMN THING THE NEXT DAY AT WORK!

That last paragraph wasn't a question that shit happened!!! And it was wack as hell!!! But hey, that is Ganesh for you. So Dont let your mouth make a prayer that your ass cant cash! Because I cashed it and it was awful, but it all worked out marvellously didnt it